Reoccurring dream and Migraine

I have had a reoccurring dream about screaming and no sound coming out.  It has happened a few times, each time in a different way.  One time, I was on a roller coaster and I tried to scream like I did as a child going down the hill and nothing came out.  Another time I had a dream someone was attacking me and I couldn’t scream for help.  Over the years I have talked quieter and quieter.  It hurts to talk because the sound is too loud inside my head.  I’m not sure if not being able to scream is a metaphor for how this monster makes me want to scream in pain and anger or the fact that it has taken my volume away.

Since these dreams I have learned that I, indeed, can scream.  I woke up one night screaming into my pillow.  When I say screaming, I mean bloody murder torture didn’t know a sound like that could come out of my mouth screaming.  I was fortunate enough that I was doing it face down into my pillow and mattress without awaking my children and neighbors.  When I came out of my sleeping screaming state and realized where I was I reached for the phone to call my mom.  My husband was out of town and I needed my mom to make sure if something happened to me my children were primarily taken care of and secondary I was looked after.  At that point I realized that I could not speak.  I was able to squeak out a “maaaw” sound and my mom instantly told me she was on her way.  I won’t go into the days of sheer mind bending pain that I lived in afterwards.  My children and I moved in with my parents because I basically slipped in and out of consciousness until my migraine finally broke.  I have had hundreds of migraines, if not thousands and a few of them really are life changing.  This was one of them.  Since then I have not had a dream about not being able to scream.  It was better when I didn’t know because now the sound of my screams haunts me.

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