“I dreamed a dream” is one of my favorite songs. I have seen the play more than once and have many times blasted the music in my car belting out the ballads. Even though it’s a sad song, it’s a song that gives me goose bumps every time! I think with phrases like these I could make endless comparisons to my life with migraines.
*I dreamed a dream in time gone by
*hope was high and life worth living
*I thought God would be forgiving
* young and unafraid
*no ransom to be paid
* dreams used and wasted
*tigers come at night
*storms we cannot weather
Really, every word of the song can relate to my struggles as I’m sure it can be related to most. Being that the UTube video is of Susan Boyle and not the Les Miserable version that I so dearly love, I started thinking of her pre performance interview. I have to admit, I did not follow her success a ton, but it is difficult not to know who she is. What I found interesting is that she said it was her dream to be a singer and that she was excited to have a big audience. Well, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Once she became famous I think her dream turned into something that she didn’t fully expect. She found it difficult to be judged for her appearance and suffered from some social issues that were put under a magnifying glass once she made it big.
So this made me wonder….if I could get rid of my migraines, would something else result that made me even less happy? I live a blessed life except for these horrific attacks that I suffer from. If I was given a choice to get rid of my migraines but sacrifice my husband, children, family, or friends I wouldn’t be able to do it. I’m so focused on my migraines and controlling them that if I didn’t have to do that anymore would something else arise in its place that was less controllable? Would the “butterfly effect” happen if my dream came true of a migraine free life? Would it result in the rest of my life spinning out of control? I don’t know. Sometimes the grass isn’t always greener but I think it’s human curiosity that makes us hope that it is. I don’t want my life to kill the dream I dream or tear my hope apart. I’ll keep dreaming but I think, right now for myself, it’s better to think of my grass as green even if it has lots of weeds damaging it.