Disney World. The bad

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Every good side has a bad side. I was happily surprised that I saw little bad while I visited Disney World.  The bad thing that I did see was ungrateful people.

My experience with meditation didn’t go well but something I find easy and beneficial to do every day is to show gratitude.  It comes easily being I have a disease that keeps me in a cold dark room and even the littlest bit of relief allows me to be grateful.

I also was a special education teacher for children with severe needs.   I can tell you that when you’ve worked with a child that is severely Autistic or is multiply handicapped you see the world in a different way.

So here’s the bad about Disney World….ungrateful adults.  I have always been able to work with difficult children because of the reminder that they don’t know any better.  I don’t give adults that benefit of the doubt.

As I was standing waiting for my family after a bathroom break (I told you we were hydrating!) I saw a most ungrateful man. He literally stopped in front of me and screamed at his daughter (or could have been his granddaughter, I couldn’t tell) about her band aid falling off her hand.

First of all, band aids fall off a moving hand.  Secondly, shame on him for yelling and embarrassing his daughter about such an insignificant thing.  As she hung her head I could feel the anger rise in me.

I texted my best friend and told her I considered tripping the man (hopefully scrapping his hand) and handing his daughter an extra band aid to put in her pocket.  I don’t go anywhere without band aids.  Kids fall and when they fall they need a band aid.  Even when there isn’t blood, sometimes a band aid just makes them feel better.

You know what doesn’t make them feel better, getting yelled at in a group of people.  How ungrateful!  He was worried about this tiny detail of his day and I am sitting there thinking of the Make a Wish family that had just walked by me.  I bet that family wasn’t worried about a band aid.  I bet their worries were real and powerful and that they would give anything to have their biggest problem be a band aid.  That family was smiling and laughing and  not worrying about such a small thing because they know BIG problems.  I wish that family could talk to that man and tell him about real anger.  Not anger at their child but anger at what they were suffering from.

Another time I saw the bad side of Disney was when we were on a ride. At one point the ride stopped and they made a statement about the ride stopping and that it would start again in a moment.  I heard a woman behind me groan and start loudly complaining about how she couldn’t believe it was ruining her ride.

It’s a funny thing about perspective.  My first thought wasn’t to complain it was to hope.  I sat there hoping that the boy I saw in a wheel chair with a feeding tube was being carefully wheeled onto the ride.  While this woman was complaining I was hoping that this sweet child would be able to experience the beauty and wonder of the ride that I was getting to enjoy.   While this woman was complaining with her working legs and loud mouth I would be interested to hear what that dad I saw pushing him would think.  I’m glad he couldn’t hear her and hope they got to enjoy!

Are these people bad people, of course not. I only heard and saw a small moment of their day.  No one is perfect and I ‘m sure they were dealing with their own issues.  Everyone has problems and everyone expresses them differently.  But from my perspective the bad thing about Disney is the ungrateful people.

I can’t go anywhere without negative people surrounding me and some days it bothers me more than others.  On a day that I felt OK and was literally looking to the sky being grateful for everything this world had provided me.  Then, I heard such nonsense of “band aid gate” and “let’s pause for a moment and complain.”

Let’s all show gratitude!

Part 3 of Disney World is coming.  You know it had to come…..the MIGRAINE!  This one has a great lesson.

Thankfuls to remember and add to


Thank you to everyone who participated in sharing your thankfuls during the month of November.  Here are a few that I hope to look back on during the year to be remind of how much there is to be grateful for!  Please feel free to comment and add on to our list.

“I want to thank you for opening up about your journey.  To find you and to know you can function as a mother, human being and to love life even after 25 years has been so encouraging.  I have not found this before.  But when I have read your blog I feel there is hope as a mother, a nurse and wife.  Thank you in many ways!”

“I’m so happy you made this post!  I think you have the most amazing positive attitude by always seeking out the good things in life despite the pain!  I am exceedingly thankful for the love of my son and two little bunnies who cuddle with me when I need to be touched.  I am thankful that I am able to live near the ocean and travel there to feel the healing power of nature when I need it most.  And I’m thankful for the empowering influence of woman like you on the internet!”

“I am thankful I found your blog!  I think you may be my migraine twin.  As I read your posts, it is like I wrote them.  I am a year older than you but have not had a baby yet, mostly because I am terrified of migraines during pregnancy.  It is encouraging to hear your stories.  Thanks for posting!”

“Thank you for sharing this!   I can relate 100%.   I am thankful for my pain and who I have become because of it.”

“I opened up two gifts this morning, my eyes.  I’m grateful for that.”

“I’m thankful to be alive.  A dear friend is in her final days….each moment spent with her is a reminder of how precious life is, even when living with pain.”

“I am thankful I have great friends that are here to celebrate with me even though we only see each other a few times a year.”

“I am thankful for a full day here and there without a migraine.  I cherish those and makes me more grateful for a pain free day.”

“The roof over my head.  My family and friends that I’m able to advocate for myself and others.”

“I am thankful that I still have my mom alive at 91.  And I am very thankful for my grandchildren.”

“I am thankful for a peaceful room and my medication when I have migraines”

“Bless you for your kind caring heart!”

I am thankful for:

“Loving partner, family friends, warm bed, and migraine awareness spread.”

“My fiancé, my family, good doctors (there are so few).”

“Food!”

“Your blog posts that make me cry”

“Waking up and eating”

“Food, husband, kids, best friend.”

 

“Sow gratitude. Reap. Joy”

What are you thankful 

for?

 

 

 

I am Thankful Despite Migraine

This is our family thankful tree. Each day was add someone we are thankful for.

This is our family thankful tree. Each day we add someone we are thankful for.

Happy November and welcome to the month of gratitude

My chronic illness has made me a thankful person in general.  I’m thankful when I’m not in my dark quiet room.  It doesn’t mean that I’m not in pain, but if I’m good enough to be out of bed, I’m thankful enough not to be.

I’m thankful for many, many, people who love me for just who I am.  I have had to weed out the people who don’t get me but isn’t that life and maturity?  I’m at an age now where my confidence is at its highest.  I know who I am and have surrounded myself with people who truly deserve my time.  I can be knocked down and dragged out by my migraines at any moment so I don’t waste my time with people who don’t make me happier or feel better.

I’m thankful for cuddling with my husband and eating dessert while we watch our favorite TV show.  It’s the small things in life that count and I’m so thankful that I get to spend my life with him.  Waking up to his face allows me to put one foot in front of the other during my worst days.

I’m thankful for my kids more than words can explain.  I’m thankful for my body that carried those babies and fed them.  I had never been thankful for my body before my two children. Not many girls are in love with themselves due to way too many unrealistic expectations.  With that added to being chronically ill, I never gave myself credit for what it can do.  It’s easy to focus on how much my body restricts me but  I’m now grateful that my body gave me children that motivate me every day.

I’m grateful for my third child, who came to me first, my amazing dog.  She’s so much more than a dog, she gives me love that a human can’t. (My dog my nurse my love)

As always I am thankful for my family.  My parents, my in laws, my sister and beyond are my rocks.  You don’t get to pick your family, but if I had the choice, I’d choose them.

The people that I have chosen and am so thankful for are my friends.  They are people who could have walked away from our friendships because of my illness.  Most of my best friends have seen me in a lot of pain, throw up, packed me in ice and have had me cancel plans due to my migraines.  But they love me, dry heaves and all.   I’m thankful to have the most loving, supportive, funny, intelligent and funny girls there are as my friends.

Up until this year I have been a stay at home mom and it was the most challenging and incredible experience.  I now get the opportunity to be a full time mom and part time teacher.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to join the work force again but mostly how I was received.  My boss and coworkers instantly became friends and confidants in life.  They are aware of my Migraines and not only are judgement free but are supportive.  They either have Migraines themselves, have a spouse who suffers or see Migraines as more than a headache and get what it really is in my life.  It is an accepting group and one that wants the best for each other.  My students and their family’s are people I go home each night feeling grateful that I get to be a part of their lives.  I love teaching and being able to go back to it and keep my migraines in check while doing so has been a blessing.

I’m grateful for the Migraine community.  My life and confidence, once again, changed when I began my blog.  Fellow sufferers are so powerful in their words and encouragement and I am confident that it has saved and improved lives.  That is something everyone should be grateful for!

My list of thankfuls and gratefuls can go on forever.  I am so blessed!  I guess I can complain about migraines, and believe me I do, but being thankful is way more fun and productive.  Migraines are depressing and many people get sucked into the pain hole that seems too deep to come out of.  Remembering my blessings keeps me mentally battling with pain, nausea, aura, weakness, fatigue etc. in a more positive way. The mental battle is incredibly difficult and I’m so thankful I have so much to be thankful for and motivated to fight for.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting on my blog and thoughts.  I’m thankful for you too!!!  Please add to my Thankful list.  I will compile the answers and post the list for Thanksgiving.

What are you Thankful for?

Being kind, grateful, paying it forward and thanking someone

Years ago I was on vacation.  As I was washing my hands in the bathroom a woman dried her hands and pumped the paper towel holder a few extra times for me to grab.   As a bit of a germ phob, I obviously appreciated her kindness and when I said thank you, she simple replied….”pay it forward.”  Since then I try to do random acts of kindness as much as I can to constantly pay it forward.  Small things count.

Last week I pushed 2 abandoned shopping carts out of the handicapped parking spot to ensure someone who needed the spot could use it.

This week I cleared the table while we were out to dinner.  I have 2 messy kids and all our waitress needed to do was pick up the stacked plates with all the garbage on it and take it away.  Is it her job to clear our table?  Yes.  Could I make it easier for her, yes, so we did.

While being a good Samaritan, I have many times gotten angry at the lack of acknowledgment for my good deeds.  Am I doing them to get credit, no.  But when I let you in my lane by waving you in, a simple hand up in the rear view mirror would be nice.

It seriously shocks me at how rude and inconsiderate people can be.  While I’m  carrying my son and holding my daughter’s hand and somehow holding the door for the person behind me with my spare hip and the person walks in without a thank you, I’m stunned.  The ironic thing is, the toddler I’m holding has better manners than the adult who walked by us.

I run into too few good Samaritans and way too many people preoccupied with themselves or their phones.  So today I encourage you to pay it forward, do a good deed and if that’s not possible, at least try to say thank you for those trying to do so.

In a world and country so divided these days, I think everyone should just be nice.  Such a juvenile concept, I know.  But just be nice.  I think a lot of people have hate in their hearts and sadness on the mind.  These things add up to behaviors that only continue the cycle upon others.  So let’s focus on being nice to ourselves and others.  Kindness goes a long way.

What have you done to spread kindness?

Disney World. The bad

I think it’s easy to take your health for granted. Remember that your health and the health of your children is precious! Don’t sweat the small stuff and enjoy life the best you can. You never know when things will change!

My Migraine Life

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Every good side has a bad side. I was happily surprised that I saw little bad while I visited Disney World.  The bad thing that I did see was ungrateful people.  My experience with meditation didn’t go well but something I find easy and beneficial to do every day is to show gratitude.  It comes easily being I have a disease that keeps me in a cold dark room and even the littlest bit of relief allows me to be grateful.  I also was a special education teacher for children with severe needs.   I can tell you that when you’ve worked with a child that is severely Autistic or is multiply handicapped you see the world in a different way.  So here’s the bad about Disney World….ungrateful adults.  I have always been able to work with difficult children because of the reminder that they don’t know any better.  I don’t give…

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Migraines with aura and stroke risks

This week a sorority sister of mine suddenly passed away from a stroke at 34 years  old.  I was shocked and confused when I heard the news because young, otherwise healthy, women don’t get strokes….right?  While reading the sad news of her passing, I came across an article that struck me.  This article states that migraines with aura may be a “hidden factor” or put women at a higher risk.  Although Katie’s story is not about having migraines and her stroke is suspected to have happened from a fall, I thought this article was worth sharing.  Knowledge is power and hopefully Katie’s story can help teach many about the risks of stroke and the seriousness of the symptoms that precede it.  She is yet another reminder to live each day the best you can and cherish each moment because life can change in an instant.

  • self.com written by Nina Bahadur (2016)

If you suspect signs of a stroke seek medical attention immediately.  There are many other resources about migraines and strokes on the internet that may share more light on this subject, here are two.

 

Migraines and working in a restaurant

My favorite restaurant is closing!  It is a place I worked at in high school and have spent countless family meals.  Four generations of my family have known it and the owners.  It’s my personal “Cheers.”  There are too many memories to list.  My husband asked my parents to marry me there.  When I was pregnant I craved their potato skins.  At that time, the cooks would see me in the parking lot and would bring them out to me with our drinks so I wouldn’t have to wait a second longer.  It is a place my children yell out the window and wave at and a place I have sweet memories with my grandpa at.  I am sad that it is closing and that all the memories I have will be in the past.

While I think back at all the years at my “Cheers” I remember hostessing.  I believe everyone should work in the food industry and retail at some point to learn countless lessons.  When I was a hostess, I learned a lot.  Mostly that people are rude and when they get stressed they like to yell at someone for uncontrollable reasons.   I remember one particularly slammed Saturday night.  My station was in between the smoky bar and the smoking section which meant every night I was triggered.  In high school I was episodic and not the chronic walking migraine that I am today so I could handle it.  As the night progressed I had a waitress yelling at me about seating her section too often even though patrons requested to be seated at a particular table.  Then the line began.  Here’s the thing about wait time…..it’s uncontrollable.  If I saw a check on a table, I could only estimate if the person would pay right away or sit and have a drink for another 20 minutes.  So at one point I was running to help bus tables, expedite food and seat people.  The volume was growing, stress built and the smoke thickened.  At this point, a man came and got in my face to yell at me about the wait time.  When I say he yelled at me, I mean he actually bent down to get into my 16-year-old face to scream!  His intention was to embarrass me, make me cry and somehow make himself feel great about doing so.  I look back and get even madder that I was so young and this man who puffed out his chest was able to send me over the edge.  I started crying and the migraine went from about a 5 to an 8+ instantly.  The owner who was helping with crowd control saw me crying and immediately put her motherly arm around me and settled things down.  It was one of the first times that I realized other people had control over me.  I’d like to say I have control over myself but in reality I could not control my triggers or emotions and therefore allowed the macho aggressive man to win.  I’d like to say that I learned from this man but I already knew not to be a jerk to other people.  I thought it was common sense to treat others the way you’d like to be treated (It was the motto of my elementary school).  I thought seeing the crowd and that checks were on tables was obvious.  The thing I learned that night is that people think they are better than you are when being served.  How odd.  I learned that compassion can come from a boss.  This was an important lesson because working as an adult I have seen very little compassion from my bosses.  It was a day I remember so vividly because I didn’t understand migraines and how they worked, just that they hurt and disabled me.  In hindsight I would tell my 16-year-old self that I can’t control others.  I can only control how I react.  It is something that I allowed to happen just a few weeks ago and still struggle with today. I can’t control people getting mad at me but allowing myself to get thrown into a migraine is allowing them to win and that’s defeating.  I am a people pleaser and don’t like to be yelled at or surrounded with negativity.  I don’t do well with stress.  I think it’s the fact that others attitudes can bring me to heightened pain when they can walk away and enjoy life like nothing has happened that bothers me the most.  When people mistreat me, I get sick.   The power that others hold over me is really frustrating and makes me want to avoid people who have nothing nice to say. 

The lessons I learned while working at my favorite restaurant are endless.  But here’s the short list:

  • Treat others the way you want to be treated
  • When I am not treated the way I want to be treated, I can only control how I react the best I can.  This lesson is something I’ve been working on for almost 20 years later.
  • Everyone has bad days and everyone will do something to make someone else mad.  The way you react to that madness is important.
  • Bosses can be human and kind
  • Tip your waitresses and say thank you to your hostess.  You don’t know how their day is going and they don’t know about you.  It’s just right thing to do.  Be kind or at the very least don’t be rude.  Passing on negativity is poison.  It literally makes me sick.