Saying goodbye to my dog

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This week I said goodbye to my best friend, my migraine fighter, my heart and my soul.

Words can’t express the painful, excruciating grief I feel wandering around my home without my shadow. I see her, I hear her, I feel her everywhere.

On her last day, we celebrated her 13th birthday a few weeks early. She left with a smile on her face, a belly full of treats and her tail wagging.

I will be pouring my love out for her when I’m ready.  I have so many things to say about this magical creature that blessed my life.

As for now, I could  use support.

There is a hole in my heart and everyday life. She made me a mom and has walked with me through the best and hardest years of my life.  If you’ve followed me or known me at all, you know Lucia was my smile, my healer, and soul.

If you have any advice on how to take steps forward or support, I sure could use it.

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Thankfuls to remember and add to


Thank you to everyone who participated in sharing your thankfuls during the month of November.  Here are a few that I hope to look back on during the year to be remind of how much there is to be grateful for!  Please feel free to comment and add on to our list.

“I want to thank you for opening up about your journey.  To find you and to know you can function as a mother, human being and to love life even after 25 years has been so encouraging.  I have not found this before.  But when I have read your blog I feel there is hope as a mother, a nurse and wife.  Thank you in many ways!”

“I’m so happy you made this post!  I think you have the most amazing positive attitude by always seeking out the good things in life despite the pain!  I am exceedingly thankful for the love of my son and two little bunnies who cuddle with me when I need to be touched.  I am thankful that I am able to live near the ocean and travel there to feel the healing power of nature when I need it most.  And I’m thankful for the empowering influence of woman like you on the internet!”

“I am thankful I found your blog!  I think you may be my migraine twin.  As I read your posts, it is like I wrote them.  I am a year older than you but have not had a baby yet, mostly because I am terrified of migraines during pregnancy.  It is encouraging to hear your stories.  Thanks for posting!”

“Thank you for sharing this!   I can relate 100%.   I am thankful for my pain and who I have become because of it.”

“I opened up two gifts this morning, my eyes.  I’m grateful for that.”

“I’m thankful to be alive.  A dear friend is in her final days….each moment spent with her is a reminder of how precious life is, even when living with pain.”

“I am thankful I have great friends that are here to celebrate with me even though we only see each other a few times a year.”

“I am thankful for a full day here and there without a migraine.  I cherish those and makes me more grateful for a pain free day.”

“The roof over my head.  My family and friends that I’m able to advocate for myself and others.”

“I am thankful that I still have my mom alive at 91.  And I am very thankful for my grandchildren.”

“I am thankful for a peaceful room and my medication when I have migraines”

“Bless you for your kind caring heart!”

I am thankful for:

“Loving partner, family friends, warm bed, and migraine awareness spread.”

“My fiancé, my family, good doctors (there are so few).”

“Food!”

“Your blog posts that make me cry”

“Waking up and eating”

“Food, husband, kids, best friend.”

 

“Sow gratitude. Reap. Joy”

What are you thankful 

for?

 

 

 

I am Thankful Despite Migraine

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Happy November and welcome to the month of gratitude

My chronic illness has made me a thankful person in general.  I’m thankful when I’m not in my dark quiet room.  It doesn’t mean that I’m not in pain, but if I’m good enough to be out of bed, I’m thankful.

I’m thankful for many, many, people who love me for just who I am.  I have had to weed out the people who don’t understand but isn’t that life and maturity?  I’m at an age now where my confidence is at its highest.  I know who I am and have surrounded myself with people who truly deserve my time.  I can be knocked down and dragged out by my migraines at any moment so I don’t waste my time with people who don’t make me happier or feel better.

I’m thankful for cuddling with my husband and eating dessert while we watch our favorite TV show.  It’s the small things in life that count and I’m so thankful that I get to spend my life with him.  Waking up to his face allows me to put one foot in front of the other during my worst days and if I can’t walk, he’ll carry me.

I’m thankful for my kids more than words can explain.  I’m thankful for my body that carried those babies and fed them.  I had never been thankful for my body before my two children. Not many girls are in love with themselves due to way too many unrealistic expectations.  With that added to being chronically ill, I never gave myself credit for what it can do.  It’s easy to focus on how much my body restricts me but  I’m now grateful that my body gave me children that motivate me every day.

I’m grateful for my third child, who came to me first, my amazing dog.  She’s so much more than a dog, she gives me love that a human can’t and is one of my strongest therapies. (My dog my nurse my love)

As always I am thankful for my family.  My parents, my in laws, my sister and beyond are my rocks.  You don’t get to pick your family, but if I had the choice, I’d choose them.

The people that I have chosen and am so thankful for are my friends.  They are people who could have walked away from our friendships because of my illness.  Most of my best friends have seen me in a lot of pain, throw up, packed me in ice and have had me cancel plans due to my migraines.  But they love me, dry heaves and all.   I’m thankful to have the most loving, supportive, funny, intelligent and amazing women as my friends. They are great examples to my children on what true friendship means.

Up until last year I had been a stay at home mom and it was the most challenging and incredible experience.  I now have the opportunity to be a full time mom and part time teacher.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to join the work force again but mostly how I was received.  My boss and coworkers instantly became friends and confidants in life.  They are aware of my Migraines and not only are judgement free but are supportive.  They either have Migraines themselves, have a spouse who suffers or see Migraines as more than a headache and how it alters my life.  It is an accepting group and one that wants the best for each other.  My students and their family’s are people I go home each night feeling grateful that I get to be a part of their lives.  I love teaching and being able to go back while keeping my migraines in check during school hours has been a blessing. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to go back to teaching and it fills a void I had while being at home.

I’m grateful for the Migraine community and MyMigraineLife.  My life and confidence, once again, changed when I began my blog.  Fellow sufferers are so powerful in their words and encouragement and I am confident that it has saved and improved lives.  We have laughed and cried together while sharing stories, advocating for foundations and making steps towards greater health.

My list of thankfuls and gratefuls can go on forever.  I am so blessed!  I guess I can complain about migraines, and believe me I do, but being thankful is way more fun and productive.  Migraines are depressing and many people get sucked into the pain hole that seems too deep to come out of.  Remembering my blessings keeps me mentally battling with pain, nausea, aura, weakness, fatigue etc. in a more positive way. The mental battle is incredibly difficult and I’m so thankful I have so much to be thankful for and motivated to fight for.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting on my blog and thoughts.  I’m thankful for you!!!  Without your feedback there would be many days that I would not be able to continue my blog.  It is difficult and uses spoons I may not have.  Your comments, likes and shares motivate me because I know I’m helping you or someone who may stumble across this page.

Please add to my Thankful list.  I will compile the answers and post the list for Thanksgiving. Come back everyday and add something you are thankful.  Showing gratitude, even for the smallest things, gives strength.

What are you Thankful for?

The power of friends helping Migraine

Today I made plans with my friends to go to our favorite apple orchard. We tried to make it a tradition 4 years ago. At that point we had one child with us. This year there will be 5! These are girls that I have canceled plans with and suffered in front of for years. They have both empathized and sympathized with me throughout the years. I’ve known these girls since middle school and love them. All hail to the friends who love you for who you are!

My Migraine Life

Lately I’ve been thinking about my high school friends a lot. I actually have a friend who I have had since I was 5 and a neighbor that became family when I was in 4th grade. Since then, I have gathered a great group that have made me who I am today. My “oldest” friends are the ones who know a little piece of me that no one else knows because it was the beginning. As the school year begins I think about how my daughter is starting her “beginning.” When she goes to school she hopefully will be finding forever friends like I did. All too soon she will be listening to those friends more than she listens to me and that terrifies me. Other influences will guide her through school, sports, nights out, big dances, academics and everywhere in between. These are the people that she will laugh…

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Migraines are NOT laziness and judgement

My Migraine Life

Oooooh laziness. I am constantly fearful that I am seen as lazy and I’m glad the topic has come up. I run a marathon and some days an iron man inside my body every day. I am a stay at home mom and I work HARD. I really think my job is one of the most under respected jobs. Then again I used to be a teacher and got paid close to nothing to change children’s lives. So I’m used to it. I am physically active all day. I carry a 25+ pound child on my hip while I do dishes, laundry, vacuum, cook, and clean. I run errands constantly getting kids in and out of the car along with carrying a purse that might as well be called luggage. I do swim lessons, library classes, play dates, art projects, playgrounds, walks and bike rides. All of this while in…

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“What would you do if your dream of a pain and a completely symptom free life, came true?”

It’s invisible illness week. So many people suffer from issues you can’t see. Before judging someone, understand who they are inside.

My Migraine Life

Life without pain? First thing I’d do is travel. I’d jump on a plane, not care what foods I packed and get off in a tropical location. It wouldn’t matter that the barometric pressure or weather was dramatically different. The sun wouldn’t bother me, I may even walk around without my sunglasses. If I was dehydrated or stressed from the flight, that’s ok, I’d drink a glass of water, take a deep breath and not need to pop pills and go lay down. I’d drink and I’d drink a lot. Red wine? Why not? I have never been able to drink it, so bring me a bottle. And while you are at it, bring me all of my trigger foods. I would lay out in the sun and not have sensitivity to the heat and read all day because the words wouldn’t be blurred in pain. Maybe I’d go shopping…

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Invisible Illness Awareness

My Migraine Life

In honor of Invisible Illness Awareness week I have answered questions about myself to teach others about what they don’t see. Please check out their website to see what you can do. Invisible illness

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know
1. The illness I live with is: Chronic migraine
2. I was not diagnosed until years after my first migraine.
3. I had symptoms since: probably the day I was born or soon there after. I had my first migraine when I was 5 that I remember.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: being prepared for it to hit at any moment, anywhere.
5. Most people assume: that it’s just a headache
6. The hardest part about mornings are: waking up. I have a headache everyday when I wake up and the direction of my pain level dictates my day
7. My favorite…

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